Thursday, September 16, 2010

Aching need

I'm truly missing him so badly.  It makes me want my tits slapped, my nipples pinched and pulled and bit.  It makes me want to be tied down tightly, gag in my mouth.  It makes me want my inner thighs and pussy spanked.  I want to kneel naked before Mr. G, trembling with anticipation.  I want to see that look on his face that I've seen before when he's talking to me in his Dom voice (you know, that certain tone of voice that you hear that immediately makes you want to say "Sir" and makes you catch your breath) and know that we have hours of uninterrupted time ahead of us to fill some of my need. 

And quite honestly, it's just how badly i want to *serve* him.  I want the sexual pleasure and the hurt of the pain, too, don't get me wrong.  But what I crave, what feels like a hole in the center of me right now is being able to serve him, to do for him.  I get a stupid amount of satisfaction from just researching something for him and telling him what I've found.  When he says, "thank you, good girl," I feel like I just won a medal. 

The next 33 days seem like an eternity.  But just like any good addict needing a fix, I will take it one day at a time.  (No, I've never actually been an addict, but I have known and loved too many alcoholics and addicts not to know WAY too much about it.  There was a time I was a self-help book junkie and I think I've read them all.)  If I can make it through today, T will be home tomorrow. And then tomorrow night, my good friend MsT is coming for the weekend.  And that is going to be so much fun.  And then, Mr. G will be home Tuesday at some point and I'll definitely get to talk to him on the phone Wednesday.  I can do this without completely being a needy asshole!  I know I can.

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