Tuesday, November 16, 2010

How Me and Mr. G Came to Be

I have been meaning to write this post since I started my blog. I love a good “When Sally Met Harry” kind of almost didn't happen but then happened kind of story. And I'm sort of a cheesy romantic, as well as a hokey believing in karma kind of girl, too. I will try hard to not make this story sickly, I'm getting a cavity too sweet.

I will set the backdrop. T and I had ventured out into the crazy world of finding a Dominant to serve. He was in something pretty serious and I was ending a long distance thing that was starting to get sadly detrimental to me. I was in a real questioning, soul-searching kind of place. Maybe I wouldn't find someone who actually matched up with my own desires (and home life situation.) And here, T had something going on and I didn't want to ruin it for him by giving up (thereby disrupting the balance). But I just felt like it was so hopeless. 

Being single when you're married isn't easy enough. But add to that the plethora of nonsense on collarme and I really started to think what I sought wasn't ever going to be found.

I finally decided I would think of the criteria in my head of what I wanted in a Dom. And then, instead of waiting for him to find me, I was going to be pro-active in my search for my Owner. My list included someone living on another continent (sexy foreign accent a must), someone who had their own family and familial commitments (and therefore, presumably would understand mine better) and someone handsome. Because I'm shallow like that.

I almost always have a song I listen to over and over again for a few days when I'm in a certain mood.  And my theme song at the time was Soul Asylum's “Can't Even Tell”. The first line, I may never get what I want, but I'm happy just to die trying. That said it all.

So there I was, fishing through the profiles on collarme. And, honestly, I will say this. Mr. G was either the 2nd or 3rd person I messaged (and the others either didn't write back or were stupidly lame). He had this picture in his profile of his back....yum. His description of himself, his family, living in England and the fact that he wasn't some “dungeon master” really intrigued me. I am not an approach guys kind of girl usually. That's why this is so bizarre. I just felt like if a true Master was out there for me, I was going to have to take it upon myself to find him.

So Mr. G messaged back and we wrote back and forth a few times on collarme. Then he asked if I'd like to chat on YM. So I definitely did, because it's way easier to get a feel for someone in instant chat, as opposed to email or collarme messages. That first night, we talked for like four hours or something crazy. We had so much in common, it was surreal to me. But even that night was not completely unmarred. He had told me a few rules he gives to his subs. No talking with other Dom/mes was a biggie. Well, I explained that at the time, T's Domme and I spoke on occasion. He said that would be acceptable as long as I never ignore him to talk to her. And then, in our first conversation, I had to do pretty much exactly that!

She had called and was orchestrating a scene for T and I and here I am talking to his amazing, incredibly dominant and sexy man in England and I had to tell him, I need to go talk to her. Oh, and my husband and I are about to have sex. He was pretty much less than thrilled. After quite a bit more talking and explaining (and feeling like why do I feel like I owe this guy so much, we JUST started talking), he promised to give me another chance. We talked a bit more after the ickiness of me breaking one of his rules and I felt like we'd patched things up reasonably well.

The next night or few nights, I didn't hear from him. Or maybe an email saying he was hoping to talk to me again. I was feeling like, wow, I really fucked that up. And then, I got an email from him saying he really needed to talk to me. And I could tell it was about something big. So that night, on YM, he explains how it's not me, he met someone local and wanted to give it a try. I completely understood, knowing how Dom men need to feel, own, touch their possessions. I have never been so impressed with someone breaking up with me (I say that in jest, we really weren't together yet).

He could have just never spoken to me again. Or even just emailed me and said he met someone who lived closer. Instead, he made it a point to come online and explain to me that it really wasn't me. He really liked me and it seemed like we had a lot in common. I was more impressed than bummed. That he was this much of a nice guy, to talk to me and seem genuinely concerned that I was okay with it all.  I have never been dumped and felt better about myself afterwards, but this came pretty close.

So about five or six days pass. I've kept up my perusing profiles. I'm still playing my theme song. I'm pretty sure I may never get what I want. When out of the blue, either on collarme or YM, I get a message from Mr. G. He wants to make it clear that I'm not his second choice, but that thing with the local girl wasn't going to work out. I was so relieved and happy to hear from him, that I didn't care if I was his fifth choice. He and I had clicked (even with the ugliness that first chat) so well and I felt like I wanted to talk to him and get to know him so much more.

And now it's been four months and five days since he recontacted me. And I have thanked my lucky stars every single day that I was so brazen of a hussy to message a man living in England with a smokin' sexy back (and an impressive vocabulary).

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