Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Zen of Slavery

Some days it seems as though the universe is against me.  Today was one of those days.  Even though T thoughtfully let me sleep in, I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it went downhill from there.  Nothing major, just the little things that wear you down and make you feel 100 years old.  And my offspring and I had a battle of wits all weekend long and I hate to admit it, but she won.

I don't even remember how I used to deal with these kinds of days before Mr. G.  Maybe I just huffed around more, or drank more alcohol, or ate more junk food.  Today, I knelt.  About five different times today, I took a moment, hid myself in my closet and knelt.

It's funny because on Oprah the other day they were talking about the amazing health benefits of meditating.  And let me tell you, I've *tried* meditating.  I love the idea of lowering my blood pressure and all the other major physiological things that supposedly happen when you meditate.  But I've never been able to just sit quietly for even just a moment or two.  I feel stupid or like I have a million and one things on my to-do list, stopping in the middle of my busy life and meditating just wasn't something that happened.

But now, I guess I do.  It's not meditating, though.  It's kneeling for my Master.  I feel myself at the breaking point, where I'm about to go all Mommy Dearest and *really* teach that little demon spawn a lesson (I'm kidding.  I don't strike my child, the strongest discipline I give is time out) I go and I kneel for my Master.  I don't think.  I breathe and try to imagine myself presenting prettily to him.  So I don't call it meditating, but really, it is a meditation of sorts and I always feel more centered and less on edge afterward.

It's amazing all the things I've learned in the last seven months.  This, I think, is one of the biggest.

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