Taking Dictation

"I want you to use a ball gag. Do you have cuffs? (Yes, of course) if you do, use them. I want you to use the medium butt plug. Use your wand. Only clit/ass orgasms allowed. No vaginal. Also, the best nipple clamps you have. Understand?"

Fucking hell. Just typing that out has me panting like a bitch in heat. (A pretty accurate assessment, actually.) There's so many parts of this that affect me. The fact that he tells me precisely what to do to my body. Love that. The curious way he only wants certain orgasms. Oh, and I seriously adore the way he always ends his instructions, whether it's my daily cardio assignment or how to cum for him, with questions like "Got it?" or "Understand?" Sometimes he truly makes himself crystal fucking clear and it melts me to the core.

Don't get me wrong, serving Sir has been a major adjustment. He doesn't have lots of rules and restrictions I have to live by. Yet, at the same time, he has dictated my new (6 days a week of STRICT, one day of free-for-all) diet and my new workout regimen. I honestly used to joke that I needed a personal trainer for a Dom because I'm very much lacking when it comes to self-control and stick-with-it-ness of being fit. I really never actually thought I was submissive enough to be able to follow through. And yet, minus a few hiccups (i.e. cheating on my diet) I have maintained my new healthy lifestyle for ….I'm not actually sure of the time frame. But I do know I've lost 12 pounds so far!

Yes, I know, I should just be doing this for me. For my family. To be healthier, live a longer life, (have a hotter body) yadda yadda yadda. And of course, those are all worthy reasons. But it's never been enough to push me to it like Sir has. I crave pleasing him so greatly that I've even done extra cardio, just because he said he would be impressed. (and I will doing more than my allotted four hours this week, as well. Yes, I said more than FOUR HOURS of cardio. Even I'm flabbergasted that I am capable of accomplishing this.)

And I earn rewards. Last time I asked for my specific reward (a picture of one of his many tattoos. Yum!) This time he said he will decide what my reward is if I reach my goal. And the amazing thing is, that dictated list at the start of this email isn't even my reward! (I'm not getting myself all worked up, though. This next goal is only a pound this week so I can't expect some huge reward) But I'm such a little kid, I love working towards winning a goodie. I love having something fun to look forward to.

And he gave me my first actual task that assisted him this week. I have in the past done things at his direction, but they didn't directly benefit Sir. So although, I had the satisfaction of doing as he's asked, I still felt selfish because my tasks were mostly self-serving. This week he actually let me do something for him, something he needed done. And I worked really hard at it and felt like I did a pretty good job. The feeling of a job well done, something Sir needed done that I could do for him was almost as satisfying as an eyeball rolling in the back of my head orgasm. I know this sounds a bit far-fetched, especially since we all know what a total orgasm junkie I am. But it's true. I was floating off the ground for a while. Even T said “that must have been so satisfying” because he totally gets it. That contentment of serving, assisting, being a valuable asset in Sir's life.

And now I've begun my orchestrated play for Sir. I am typing this with my medium buttplug in, gag in my mouth and nipple clamps torturing my nipples. And my discomfort actually brings me so much comfort. Having been spooked and having to go underground has made me less atune, less able to tap into the fucking whore who's inside me. Who needs her mouth and ass savagely fucked. Who needs her nipples clamped and cropped and bit until they're sore for days. The kind of slutty girl who will cum exactly as Sir has stated, even if it leaves my dripping pussy aching for an orgasm even after my play. (usually a clit orgasm, even combined with an ass orgasm makes me need to be fucked in my pussy 100 times more than I did before I came.) But tonight, that needing to be fucked craving feeling in my pussy is going to give me satisfaction. Because maybe Sir wants my pussy to ache for him. And tonight, it will.