Filthy Whore

Most people would cringe at being called such harsh words.  Those are actually two of my favorite words my Master utters.  I love the way whore sounds coming out of his mouth.  His accent, all that, but just the actual sound of it.  He has one of the dirtiest mouths I've ever encountered. (and I don't mean hygiene!  I'm happy to say he disproves the British have bad teeth stereotype.)  And that's saying something, considering I curse like a sailor.  Ever since Eddie Murphy's "Delirious" stand-up routine, I have loved the proper use of swear words.  Mr. G actually takes this to a new level for me because of the sexy words factor.  But also because the English have their own set of curse words and insult words that are fun and new and different for me.  The first time he called me a plonker, I almost peed my pants laughing!  A plonker?!  That's just fantastic!  Or a slag, that word came into my vocabulary from some Bridget Jones type book, but still a favorite.  Bell end, ball ache, taking the piss are more of my newly learned phrases that crack me up.

Still the one word that Mr. G says that makes me the happiest, wettest and most touches me deep inside is "mine".  I love hearing him use the possessive about me.  "My girl"  "My whore" makes me feel so special, so wanted.  Even if I do or say something less than bright and I'll call myself an idiot, he'll say something like "my idiot" and it makes me laugh and feel better.  As a matter of fact, we've been hanging around a little on Second Life and something so silly but that makes me so happy is just that he put "I am His girl" over my avatar in pink for everyone to see. 
Since this part of my life has to be secreted away and hidden from 90% of the rest of my life, I love having at least these two places where I am claimed, am owned by Him.  I know it sounds silly, but it really does mean a lot.

I used to get to play this game (now it's been ruined because I told him about it and he never willingly plays, dammit.  He knows I'm a randy slut, just looking for an excuse to get all heated up) where he starts telling me about something, how he's got to go clean his car, it's so dirty.  And I'd try to get him to say a few key words.  "How dirty is it, sir?  Is it filthy?  Really, really dirty?"  Now, I tease him and try to play my game but he sees right through it and just laughs at me.  It really doesn't take much to amuse me or turn me on and luckily my Master has a good sense of humor.

So here's where my blog gets a little strange.  On occasion my Master actually lets me have a play.  Here lately, it's solo, without him on the phone or skype or whatever more so than not.  Really, it gets hard for me to...I don't want to say get in the mood.  I'm always in the mood for an orgasm.  I could be sick as hell, barely able to get out of bed and if offered, I'd JUMP at the chance to have a play.  But I do try to...make it worth my while.  Since my orgasms are doled out like drugs in little paper cups in the psych ward, I try to make them something to last, not knowing when the next play is going to come.  But it's hard, being in my own head, trying to picture him, his voice, his body, what he does to my body.
I need to be in his presence so badly, to fill that coffer back up, remind myself what that's like so badly.  And so I....watch home movies he's sent me that have him with ex's in them.  I know how weird this is. 

I'm not an unjealous person.  I have my moments.  For example, once, snooping on my T's computer when we were dating and he was at work, I ran across naked pictures of his ex.  I can never unsee those pictures.  That skinny bitch with big natural boobs will forever be burned into my brain and to this DAY it makes me a little ill thinking about them.  But yet, Mr. G and these nameless girls who came before me really do the trick for me when I'm about to have a play (I am not a watching porn WHILE I play kinda person.  I like to watch a few clips and then go into my head and touch myself sans visual stimuli).  I will say that most of the time, I just listen to the audio, because he says a few key phrases that make me melt and drool and want to cum.  Even just hearing him breathing hard, that makes me want to get out my toybag and violate my body.  Because that's the funny thing, he's not a major talker while the sex stuff is happening.  So just hearing his breathing when he's getting close to cumming.....mmmmmm god.  That's good stuff.  So thank you, nameless dirty girls that preceded me.  You have helped me more than you'll ever know!

And here's a happy memory for me and a little bit of fun filth.